It is hard to find standalone shorts in PNR/UF. The ones I find are usually part of an established series, a series of shorts, or an episode of a serial. So when I see one pop up that looks promising when I’m book browsing, I snap it up. Well this one had a pretty good cover and seemed to be a standalone story. It was free as well so no risk if I don’t like it, right?
I didn’t like it. There goes about 6,000 words of my reading life I won’t get back.
This story was ridiculously bad. I could barely click through a page without highlighting something wrong or whadafuq. The writing was very amateur like the first attempt in a Creative Writing 101 class. I don’t usually pull out the “show don’t tell card” when I review, but this was a good example of way too much telling. Sentence structure was awkward and often rambled on with poor punctuation. There were issues with odd phrasing and word usage. At times I wondered if English was the authors’ first language (a husband and wife writing team per their bio). There were randomly capitalized words, the common misuse of to vs. too, and other numerous typos. The characters were unlikable with zero romantic connection and the dialogue was painful, especially during the sex scenes. Here’s an example. Close your eyes if you don’t like the naughty bits.
“Don’t stop Wade! Harder Wade! I would seriously die if you stopped Wade!
“How bad do you want it Rachael?!”
"SO FUCKING BAD!"
“Fuck me harder Wade, destroy my vagina! I’m all yours!"
So that was all sexy and romantic *snort*. Okay, not really. I jest. And what is with the exclamation points and ALL CAPS? Why are they shouting? Oh, and apparently his name is Wade, ya know... in case you didn’t catch that. It was good for a laugh, though I’m just glad I wasn’t drinking some coffee when I read that.
There is so much wrong with this story that it isn’t even worth showing examples. Just take a peek at the sample yourself. You won’t have to read very far at all. It starts in the first paragraph. I would expect to see something like this on Wattpad, but not on a professional selling venue where I expect a polished product. What a shame that such crappy writing is wrapped up in a pretty decent cover. This is definitely one case where you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
I will end this review with the very last sentence of this story since the sample won’t get that far and I want to share this goodie with you. Drum roll, please.
“This was defiantly, a happy ever after.”
Need I say more?